


Torn Between Two

by angelsfalling16



Series: Endings [6]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Friends With Benefits, Infidelity, Light Angst, M/M, Morning After, One Night Stands, SnowBaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 01:43:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21402109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsfalling16/pseuds/angelsfalling16
Summary: Simon wants to be with Baz, but he's already with Agatha. He knows he should stop meeting with Baz, but he can't.
Relationships: Simon Snow/Agatha Wellbelove (mentioned), Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Endings [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1512269
Comments: 14
Kudos: 85





	Torn Between Two

“Thanks for last night,” Simon says as he finishes buttoning the last few buttons of his shirt, trying to make it look like they aren’t the same clothes that he wore yesterday.

It’s hopeless though, seeing as one of the buttons is on the floor from when Baz got impatient and practically ripped the shirt from Simon’s body. Simon keeps his eyes off of Baz, who is still only half-dressed, lying across the hotel bed. He knows that if he looks at him like that, he’ll want to have another go.

“It was amazing,” Simon adds, smoothing his hands over his shirt which is wrinkled from being wadded up and thrown across the room. There’s no way no one notices it.

He doesn’t mention anything about what happened this morning in the shower, but he doesn’t think he needs to remind Baz about how utterly brilliant he was down on his knees while Simon was trying to wash his hair.

“My pleasure,” Baz replies in a bored tone that Simon has learned is only an act.

Simon turns and forces himself to keep his eyes on Baz’s face. He wants to say something. There are so many things that he wishes he could say, but it wouldn’t be right. With one last tug on the hem of his shirt, he runs a hand through his hair and turns toward the door without saying anything else.

“Give my regards to your wife,” Baz calls after him.

And that’s that. This isn’t the first time they’ve met like this, and Simon knows it won’t be the last. He wishes that they could have something more than this, but he can’t leave his wife. He’s doomed to spending one rare night with Baz and then feeling hollow afterwards, like he’s missing a part of himself.

He turns the doorknob, and as he takes a step towards the hall, he can’t help himself. He turns back to look at Baz, needing one last look to get him through, but Baz is already there behind him, having moved at lightning speed.

His hands are on Simon’s face, pulling him into a kiss. It’s soft and loving, nothing like how they usually kiss. It’s the kind of kiss that Simon wishes they could share everyday.

He hates how much he wants this, hates that when he finally came to terms with his feelings, it was already too late. He especially hates what they’re doing, going behind Agatha’s back like this, but he can’t stop. He loves Baz.

The kiss is too much, too raw and too full of the feeling Simon has tried so hard to bury. He thought that just a friends with benefits situation with Baz would somehow make it all okay, but he couldn’t have been more wrong, and this kiss proves it.

Simon can feel one word in their kiss, the one he wishes for Baz to say but knows he won’t: _stay_.

Wrenching himself away, Simon leaves, guilt weighing him down.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually stole the title from a final project I once did where I wrote a story about a bisexual Mr. Darcy who was torn between loving Elizabeth and loving Charles, which isn't really important but whatever. I hope you liked it!


End file.
